In a forum that I'm part of, one parent asked for recommendations for "cleaner" YA fantasy books for her daughter. She said that violence wasn't a problem, but she was concerned about drug use, adult language, and most of all, sex.

Now, this mother is the only person in the forum who knows her daughter. Those guidelines might be exactly what her daughter wants/needs. I recognize and respect that. However, a few of us couldn't help wondering why violence was okay, but sex wasn't.

Violence over sex is not an uncommon preference -- at least not in America. (Maybe because of our Puritan roots?) But not everyone in the world agrees, or even understands. Europeans, for example, are known for their open attitudes towards sex and nudity. When I studied abroad in Spain, even the conservative, Catholic, middle school teacher I was staying with said to me, “It makes no sense. Why do Americans enjoy watching cars crash and people beating each other bloody, but then they get so upset to see two people making love?”

I didn’t have a good answer for her.

Look, I understand that not every teen is ready for sex. But should any teen be ready for violence?

And what do we accomplish by teaching them that sex is taboo? The taboo label is meant for things that are bad, scary, or dangerous.

Sex, when done right, is none of those things. Sex is by definition a natural and necessary part of human life. It’s the only way to continue. It can be a way to connect.

Violence, on the other hand, is ugly. A force to be wielded with great care and consideration. Not encouraged, and certainly not glorified.

Or at least, that’s my opinion. What’s yours?
KH



EXIT POLL: Which do you think is more acceptable for young adults in real life?